Conversations #7

Conversation with Gracie, who is looking thru a fashion magazine:

Gracie; "Gramma, I could never in a million years have this. Ever. I know I can’t get this."

Me: "What is it?"

Gracie: "This! I really, really want this, and I know I cant have it."

Me:"Listerine mouth wash? Its an ad for Listerine."

G:racie" Oh....Never mind. I bet I will NEVER get a surf board."

Me: "Why cant you get a surf board?"

Gracie: "Because.. I DONT SURF!"

Me: "Anything else you wanna be negative about?"

G:racie "Well, my chap stick broke."

I get the feeling that the only thing that will turn her frown upside down is a trip to Walmart.

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "Duke said he had staples..in his STOMACH!"

Me: "Maybe he had an operation."

Gracie: "Well, I don't know what an operation is, but it must be BAD! Maybe he had a surgery...."

"Situation" at Gracies school, after her friend was tackled by a boy, hurting her leg and making her cry:

Gracie: "You should hug my Gramma. Her hugs are really warm."

Random comments by random kids at Gracie's school during one on one word testing:

"My brain is huuge! See?"

"My grandma is DEAD. Are you a grandma too?"

"Old. O.L.D Hey, you're old!"

"When two vowels go walkin', the first does all the talkin'!

"I'm good at reading! I can read with my eyes closed!"

Conversation with a random kid at Gracie's school who stood up, bent over, and put her head on her knees as we start to read:

Me: "umm what are you doing?"

Kid: "Waking up my brain!"

Conversation with Gracie as we are in separate bathroom stalls at the bowling alley:

Me: "Gracie I don't have any toilet paper. Can you spare a square?"

Gracie: Nnnope!"

Me: "I am stranded over here!"

Two squares of attitude then slid ACROSS THE FLOOR. Someone needs a nap!

Conversation with Gracie in Barnes and noble as she chooses a dinosaur book:

Me: "Gracie are you SURE you want a DINOSAUR book? I am not sure you would be all that interested in it."

Gracie: "Gramma, have you SEEN my brain? I like all sortsa stuff."

Conversation with Gracie: "Gramma want a piece of healthy gum?"

Me: "I don't think there is such a thing as healthy gum."

Gracie: "It had a picture of oranges, kiwi and lemons on it. IT IS HEALTHY!"

Quote from Gracie: "I don't like pinky swears anymore. I like Cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your ...EYE! Because then...you REALLY have to do it!"

Quote from Gracie: "You can NEVER have enough pretty, even if you're pretty!"

Conversation with Milo Penning:

Milo: "Gunsmoke is a wholesome family show!"

Me: "Right. Because all wholesome family shows center around a wh*re house."

Milo "What!?"

Me: "What do you think Miss Kitty was?"

Milo: "A saloon owner..."

Me: "Yes. And she had girls...what do you think they were selling?"

Milo: "Drinks."

Me: "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SELLING! Miss Kitty was a Madame!"

Milo: "No she wasn't...."

We can continue this debate ALL DAY LONG....haha

Conversation with Gracie: "Gramma, my art teacher is so...AWESOME!"

Me: "Why is he awesome?"

Gracie; "Because.. he lets us use charcoal...and.. SCISSORS!"

Conversation with Gracie;

Me: "What if your mom was president?"

Gracie: "my mommy? She can't be president."

Me: "Why not?"

Gracie: "Girls CANT be president because they would just get all the boys to do their work for them."

Question from Grace " So gramma, say my dad became president, does that mean we can, I mean all my family, live in the penthouse?"

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "Gramma, cows have 4 stomachs."

Me: "Really? Where did you learn that?"

Gracie: "My teacher."

Me: "Your teacher sounds really smart."

Gracie: "She is. I think she was raised by a military."

Quote from Gracie: "When I get big I am going to make my kids eat only vegetables...and candy."

Life according to Gracie:

Gracie: "You know Gramma, the WHOLE WORLD is just one big chapter book!"

Me: "Really? Who is reading it?"

Gracie: "God!"

Conversation with Gracie while doing yoga and instead, starts playing with the yoga ball.

Me: "Gracie, stop batting the ball around. We are doing yoga!"

Gracie: "But gramma, IT IS A YOGA BALL! I AM doing yoga!"

Conversation with Gracie, who now keeps a list of who she loves, in order. To her, being moved to the bottom could be the worst thing EVER in your life:

Gracie: "Gramma, Grandpa made me mad!"

Me: "Why?"

Gracie; "He told me to take care of my stuff and I am tired! I am moving him to the BOTTOM of the list! GRANDPA! YOU are NOW at the bottom of MY list!"

(Later that evening)

Me:"If I make you go upstairs now to sleep, are you going to move me down on the list?"

Gracie: "Yes."

Me:"Then I guess I better let you cuddle here."

(The next morning)

Gracie; "Grandpa, if you say I can live here, I will move you back to the TOP of the list!"

Grandpa: "No way!"

Gracie: "Okay, then you are staying at the BOTTOM OF THE LIST!"

(Later when saying good bye to Aunt Chelle, who did her fairy make up)

Gracie: "Bye Aunt Chelle!"

Me; "Hey Gracie, where is Aunt Chelle on the list?"

Gracie: "Number 2."

Me: "Only NUMBER 2??"

Gracie: "Okay number 1."

Me: "But I thought I was number 1!"

Gracie: "You are the number 1 before THAT number 1."

Conversations #6

Gracie as she rewrites history: "The difference between an ocean and a sea is that the ocean had the Titanic in it. The driver was drunk. I am old school so I I know this!"

Random conversations while volunteering in Gracie's classroom today:

Kid: "There is a ghost on the playground. I am hunting it."

Me: "Really? Who is hunting it with you?"

Kid: "My invisible friend, Brad."

Me: "Oooookaaay. Are....uhhhhh..you on medication?"

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Me:"My favorite word is Laugh. What is your favoritest word..EVER?"

Kid: "I like the word "...Because!"

Me: "Because? Why do you like that word?"

Kid: "Because..."

Me: ?..."Well...Alrighty then!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "Macaroni and cheese was discovered by the Chinese."

Me: "I don't think so."

G:racie"Uhhh huh! It's on ALL the Chinese buffets!"

Conversation with Gracie as we walk into Culver's and she adjusts her tiara:

Gracie:"Maybe they will give us a discount!"

Me:"why would we get a discount?"

Gracie:"Because …I am a Princess!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Graice: "Are we going to the mall?"

Me: "I don't think so. Why?"

G:racie "I need new princess gloves."

Me: "We can do that. Do you want to put your three dollars toward them and I will kick in the rest?"

Gracie: "Welllll... How about you buy the gloves and I will get some makeup. That will be fair!"

Me: "How is THAT FAIR?"

Gracie:" Because....you..get to...play with me!"

Conversation with Gracie while exploring:

Me: "Gracie, maybe there are some baby frogs in here. What do they call baby frogs?"

Gracie: "Tadpoles."

Me: "Right. What do we call that green stuff in the water?"

Gracie: "Listen Gramma, I don't want you to RUIN my life by trying to teach me stuff...No wait...I Like it when you teach me stuff.."

Conversation with Gracie about the potential to find a coyote den while we explore behind our subdivision:

Gracie: "Are coyotes mean Gramma?"

Me: "I don't think so. I think they just don't trust people."

Gracie: "Well, I think we should tell them that there is a NEW girly girl in town and that is ME."

Conversation with Gracie at Meijers:

Me: "Gracie, dont let me forget bug spray."

Gracie: "Aaaand CANDY FOR GRACIE!"

Later..

Me: "Thanks for reminding me about the bug spray Grace. I almost forgot!"

Gracie: And don't forget...CANDY FOR GRACIE!"

A little later

G:racie "I get candy right?"

Me: "Sure." (she picks out Tic Tacs)

Gracie: "Gramma, you have some quarters...right?"

Me:" Yeees..." (we both know where THIS is going)

Gracie: "Can I have two?"

Me: "Sure."

Gracie: "I meant four...."

Conversation this morning at breakfast with Dad, Bruce, Gracie and I:

Bruce: "So, whats the plan today?"

Me:" Well, Gracie and I are going shopping, then we have to make lasagna for Mike and Mia, then we got some cookies to bake, a bike to ride, and then I will take her home, totally exhausted..."

Gracie: "NO....Gramma, YOU will be EXHAUSTED! I will be like Heeeyy!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Me: "Remember last year when you couldnt read? Boy, you sure have come a long way huh?

Gracie:"Yep. I am at Blue Dinosaur in reading."

Me: "Is that good? I don't know what Blue Dinosaur means."

Gracie: "It means I am almost to Two Hearts!"

Me: "Ummm...I still dont know what that means."

Gracie: "TWO hearts...Ya know..hearts!"

Me: .....?......

Gracie: Pffffft..."YEAH ITS GOOD!"

Conversation with Gracie as we play Connect Four:

Me: "Gracie I think I won. I got four in a row."

Gracie: "We are playing to five."

Me: "Okay. I just won again."

Gracie: "I meant we are playing to six."

Me: "Looks like I won that too."

Gracie: "Okay NOW we are playing to seven."

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie; "Gramma, I am going to make my bed and shut off my TV so I can come down here with you."

Me: "Okay but dont forget I am doing homework right now."

Gracie: "Like what homework?"

Me: "I have an 8 page statistical report to write."

Gracie: "OH! I CAN HELP YOU! And you don't even have to pay me back!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "Gramma, do you remember when I was a baby?"

Me: "Sure do. You were bald as a cue ball!"

Gracie: "It was worth the wait."

Me:"What do you mean?"

Gracie: "It was worth the wait cause I got blonde hair! It was definitely WORTH the wait!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie:" Gramma, do you have my emergency Chapstick?"

Me: "Yep. Right here."

Gracie: "Good. I am prettier without chapped lips."

Conversation with Gracie at Starbucks:

Gracie: "Gramma that boy in the honkie shirt keeps staring at me:"

Me: "HONKIE SHIRT??!"

Gracie:" Yes. He has a red honkie shirt on right there!"

Me: "Grace, that is a HOCKEY shirt!" Bahaha!

Quote from Gracie: "I just LOVE princess crap!!!"

Conversation with Gracie about the unusual amount of Harley Davidson clothes that grandpa has bought her:

"Gramma, why are ALL of my clothes Harley Davidson?!! EVERYBODY thinks I'm a BIKER...wait...that's COOL!"

Conversation with Gracie after Harley drank pond water:

"Gramma, you are going to have to brush Harley's teeth with your toothbrush."

Me:"Eeeeew! No way!"

Gracie: "Well, then use grandpas!"

Conversation with dad at lunch:

Me: "Dad, you and I need to get on a plane and fly to Jacksonville to see your sisters."

Dad: "I AINT gettin on no g*d d**m plane."

Me: "why not? We will be safe."

Dad: "Yeah tell that to those people on that Asian plane."

Me: "Come on! You would be with me. Besides, what you got to lose? Just think, in THREE short hours, we could be in Florida with your sisters!"

Dad: "Yeah..true...but I can make a PHONE CALL in a minute and a half and get the same thing...."

Conversation with Gracie on the way to Walmart:

Gracie:"I cant wait to get some nail polish and that lipstick you promised me!"

Me: "I did not promise lipstick. You are not old enough."

Gracie:" I am a woman Gramma! I brush my own teeth, I brush my own hair, I get myself dressed AND I got two dollars from the Tooth Fairy!"