Conversations

Quote from Gracie as we are singing a duo as the Sizzle and Spice girls: "Listen Gramma, I am Sizzle, you are Spice.....But you're not bringing the spice." 

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "What are you doing Gramma?"

Me:"Having fun with WINDEX! I LOVE spraying WINDEX!"

Gracie:"Can I try?"

Me: "ABSOLUTELY"

Conversation with Gracie:

Me: "Hey Gracie, whatya say we get out the vacuum and have some FUN!!!"

G:racie "YAY!!! VACUUMING!!!!!!!!!"

(It's all in the approach. Don't judge me)

Conversation with Sethy at Chinese Buffet:

Me: "Hey Seth, that looks pretty good. What is it?"

Seth: "ITS RAT ON A STICK!"

Me: "Alrighty then!"

Conversation with check out "kid" in Meijers:

Kid: "Geeze! I keep smelling PINE SOL. Ever since I started working here, I ALWAYS smell PINE SOL."

ME: "Really? Be grateful you aren't a gynecologist!"

***dead silence*** Except me. I am snickering pretty loud at myself.

Conversation with Gracie this am, our last day together for a WHOLE week:

Gracie: "Gramma, can I take your sleep shirt home so I wont miss you? It smells like you."

Me: "Sure but I think the shirt might be smelly."

Gracie: "Thats okay. I love Gramma stink!

Conversation between Gracie, Chelsea and I as Chelsea moves Gracies Christmas present to my car to take home:

Gracie: "Gramma, was how big was my present? Was it big?"

Me: "I'm not telling you that! Chelsea, she wants hints..."

Chelsea: "I told her its something EVERY girl needs."

Gracie: "ITS A SPORTS BRA!!!!"

Chelsea: "Ummmm..NO."

Conversation with Gracie about the upcoming adventure in the Dominican Republic:

Me: "You know Gramma is going on an adventure next week."

Gracie: **sad face**

me: "It will be okay. I wont be gone long. Should I go zip lining while I am there?"

Gracie: "NO. You might fall."

Me: "Okay. How about swim with the sharks?"

Gracie: "NO!"

Me: "Scuba diving?"

Gracie: "NO!"

Me: "Snorkeling?"

Graice: "NO!... What is snorkeling?"

Me: "You have one of those breathy things in your mouth and you watch all the fish swim under you."

Gracie: "NO!"

Me: "Well, what can I do for an adventure?"

Gracie: "You can explore, but NOT IN THE OCEAN!"

Me: "What about the pool?"

Gracie: "Can you swim?"

Me: "Yes."

Gracie: "Then you can go in the pool."

She is killing me here.

Conversation with Seth:

Me: "Sethy when you grow up, are you going to be a cop like grandpa?"

Seth: "Nope."

Me: "Well, what are you going to be?"

Seth: "Ninja."

Conversation with Gracie when she notices I missed 5 points on my art project:

Gracie: "Gramma, you didnt get a perfect score on your art."

Me: "I know. My teacher must have thought is wasn't worth an A."

Gracie: "Hmmph..Well I am going to have a TALK with your TEACHER!"

Conversation just now with Gracie, who is still concerned about my art grade:

Gracie: "So, did you get a B on that art project?"

Me: "No. I think it was an A-minus."

Gracie: "Did you think I was KIDDING about talking to your teacher? Im NOT. You are a SMART girl and there is NO REASON for you to be getting bad grades!"

(Did I just get a LECTURE from a 7 year old? hahaha!)

Gracie, who is now having a pretend conversation with my art professor:

Gracie:"Hello. My name is Gracie.It's nice to meet you. WHY did you give my Gramma a A MINUS? Hmmph. FINE! I will tell her to put MORE EFFORT into her art projects, but DONT you EVER give her an A minus AGAIN!"

"Gramma, do you ever miss.. getting bad grades?"

Me: "I don't really get bad grades."

Gracie: "But you got a AAAAAA MINUS!"

Me: "I don't think that is bad!"

Gracie: "Ummm. to ME it is! I get all A PLUSES!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Gracie: "Gramma, my glams are swollen."

Me: "Your what?"

Gracie: "My GLAMS.. you know, these things in my neck."

Conversation with Gracie after church:

Me: "Gracie, what is the name of that nice man that teaches your bible class?"

Gracie: "His name is Jack, but most kids call him "Hey."

Conversation with Milo Penning:

Me: "Okay I have a relationship Quiz for you. I got it on Oprah."

Milo: "Oh baruuuther. Here we go..."

Me: "Great! Give me 5 adjectives that describes our relationship."

Milo: "Stupendpus. Amazing. Great. Incredible....

Me: "Okay I can SEE you aren't taking this seriously. You gotta be real."

Milo: *blank stare*

Me: "You aren't going to do this are you?"

Milo:"Nope."

Me: He is smarter than I give him credit for :)

Conversation with Dad tonight:

Me: "Okay Dad, I am going to give you a bed bath, just like I learned in nursing school."

Dad: "Okay."

Me: "I start and go from clean areas to dirty, so you know what THAT means right?"

Dad: "No."

Me: "It means I am cleaning out your mouth LAST!"

Dad: "hehe"

Me: "and you and I BOTH KNOW, if I had to scrub your mind, THAT would be last!"

Dad: ***BIG smile***

Me: "I'm also gonna clip your fingernails."

Dad: "Okay, but leave me ONE booger picker."

Conversation with Gracie:

Me: "Gracie, wanna see the project I did for my art class?"

Gracie:"Sure gramma."

Me:"okay it's weird and you might not understand. Don't judge me! See? What do you think?"

Gracie:"Ummmm...I'm judging you..."

Conversation with Gracie who is expecting a visit from the Tooth Fairy at my house tonight. The tooth is in my pocket:

Gracie:"Gramma, where is my tooth?"

Me: "I got it right here in my pocket." (The tooth has broken in two pieces and Gracie is now WAILING)

Gracie: "THE TOOTH FAIRY WONT TAKE BROKEN TEETH!"

Me: "Of course she will! No problem!"

Gracie: "NO, SHE WONT! ITS BROKEN! SHE WONT TAKE IT!"

Me: "Lets go ask Grampa if the Tooth Fairy takes broken teeth."

Gracie: "HE is NOT a LAWYER!"

Me: "WHAT!? We are going to SUE the Tooth Fairy? He is a COP. He KNOWS ALL THE LAWS...even the Tooth Fairy ones!"

Gracie: "But he CANT BOSS THE TOOTH FAIRY AROUND!"

Me: "Yes he can. He is the LAW and she HAS to OBEY!"

OFFICIAL VERDICT FROM GRANDPA: According to Section II, Code 34 of the Tooth Fairy law: As long as BOTH pieces of tooth are present, the Tooth Fairy HAS TO take it...AND BECAUSE it is broken, give her DOUBLE what she would normally get. CASE CLOSED.

Things are looking up in my Fine Arts class! Just when I think I have been blackballed by my classmates for not being in a competitive dance troupe, Barbie and Britn'e join my table of one. (Russell, the kid who rolls in late with one side of his hair matted to his head, smelling of medical grade marijuana and proceeds to sleep thru class, abandoned me in the second week.)

Barbie: "I cant believe we have an exam already. Im not ready!"

Me: "I know, right?"

Britn'e: "She just like, blitzed thru the material. Im going to be SOOO mad if the test is hard. I ALREADY lost one point on my project!"

Me: "I take it you are both straight A students?"

Barbie: "I have all honors classes..."

Brit'ne: "I am. Aren't you?"

Me: **blink**blink**

(Okay things WERE looking up....)

Conversation with Gracie as I am trying to study:

Gracie: "Gramma put your schoolwork down and play hair with me."

Me: "I need to get this done first. I have three pages of questions to answer."

Gracie: "Seriously? I had SEVEN this week and I got them done."

Me: "What are you trying to suggest here Gracie?"

Gracie: "Come on, I wanna fix your hair PRONTO! It's a mess!"

Conversation with Gracie after church:

Me: "So Gracie what was your bible story today?"

Gracie: "It was about Luke and...Mike." Their dad was tired and sweaty and wanted some help, so luke said he would help him, right after he finished his lemonade. Next thing you know, mike isn't helping AT ALL."

Me: "So what's the moral of the story?"

Gracie: "Always help...and follow directions."

Conversation with Bruce:

Me: "No offense babe, but you got a "resistant" personality."

Bruce: "No I don't...."

Conversation with Gracie as we leave a wedding:

Me: "Gracie, you need to calm it down a little bit. You are too full of energy right now."

Gracie: "I CANT help it Gramma! Happiness is my FUEL! And I gotta LOT OF IT!!"

Me: "I can't argue with that. Carry on!"

Conversation with Gracie after church this morning:

Me: "So Gracie, what did you learn at church this morning? Did you have a bible story?"

Gracie: "Yes. A guy killed another guy but God saved him cause he was...Egyptian. Then a fire bush spoke to the guy."

Me: "A fire bush?"

Gracie: "Yeah. A fire bush."

Me: "and it TALKED?"

Gracie: "It was GOD Gramma..."

Me: "God is a FIRE BUSH??!!

Gracie: "Well, He has to become SOMETHING when He talks to you!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Me: "So Grace, how is school going?"

Gracie: "Hate it."

Me: "How come?"

Gracie: "I THOUGHT it was going to be different!"

Me:"Different?"

Gracie: "Yeah. They treat us like FIRST GRADERS!"

Me: "How?"

Gracie: "We STILL have to sit on a RUG!"

Me: "What were you expecting?"

Gracie: "Desks!..Well we have desks, but my teacher still makes us sit on a rug sometimes."

Me: "Why do you think she does that?"

Gracie: "She does that so she can sit in her ROCKING CHAIR! She brought it from home. I don't think that is fair!"

Me: "Its totally fair. You are not on the same level as her."

Gracie: " We are BOTH in second grade!"

Me: "True, but SHE teaches it. You are not on the same level."

Gracie: "Well, I don't even have a LOCKER!"

Me: "You are in the SECOND GRADE. What on earth would you need a locker for?"

Gracie: "Pfft..LIP GLOSS!"

Conversation with Gracie:

Me: "Pack up your lip gloss Gracie and we will go to the Harley Davidson party."

Gracie: "Oh Gramma! I would NEVER leave a lip gloss behind!"

Conversation in communication class with several of the 'kids':

Girl #1: "I think its soooo cute, Stephanie, that you come in here EVERYDAY with a Monster drink (flips hair, while I am wondering why its 'cute'. Isnt the word 'cute' reserved for children and OLD people?)

Boy: "Yeah. Im going to buy you a case of it for Christmas!"(Thats fine. Im getting him acne treatment and a new bottle of hand lotion)

Girl #2: "I can't believe you drink those! They are so unhealthy. Why don't you drink coffee instead?

me: "I do."

Girl #2: "OMG! You drink coffee too!? OMG! OMG! OMG! (says the girl who limits her daily intake to three lettuce leaves and a Halls cough drop).

So now I am a bad example. Gonna cross THAT ONE of the bucket list hehe.

Conversation at the end of getting the oil changed on my car:

Oil change guy: "Okay Ms. Penning your tire pressure is fine and fluid levels topped off. Your signals and headlights are GREAT!'

me: (hehe)

Oil change guy: "And there is MORE good news Ms. Penning. The guy working downstairs says everything looks great, there is no leaks, and its all looking tight."

Me: Bahaha *snort* Hahaha

Oil change guy: "Is there something wrong, Ms. Penning?"

Me: "No. Just wish I could get a report like this from my gynecologist!"